Netgear congested, Office 2003 infested

SAN FRANCISCO (09/19/2003) - Today's cliche is "Be careful what you ask for." My request for cool drink recipes brought a flood of formulas for Lynchburg Lemonade, Forest Fire, Bora Bora Brew, Purple Haze, and something involving NyQuil, rubbing alcohol, and Mr. PiBB . Naturally, as a journalist I felt it my duty to investigate each one. I don't remember much about the next 48 hours, but when I finally woke up, I felt nastier than a lawyer for the RIAA.

Later on we'll conspire: Maybe it was the booze-induced stupor, but conspiracy theories were flying fast and furious this week. Sobig? It was spread by the Department of Homeland Security as a form of inoculation -- a mild infection to strengthen our defenses for the real cyber attack. Microsoft's .Net initiative? A clever ruse to occupy rival programmers while Microsoft plans a secret end-run around its competition. And I dimly recall something about SCO teaming with Larry Ellison to sue 12-year-old Linux programmers, but that may have been the rubbing alcohol talking.

Waiting for Netgear: One Cringester reports that Netgear users have a better chance of reaching Jimmy Hoffa than getting through to phone support. All calls to the tech line are met with a canned message asking you to call back later (and later, and still later). Company spokesguy Doug Hagan admits "our telecom infrastructure has been stressed" by high demand for Netgear's Wi-Fi products, but says they will add more lines in the next two weeks.

Bug off: Before you install the new Office 2003, spray each CD thoroughly with Black Flag. According to my secret source, betas of Office 2003 were infested with bugs -- or "known issues," as Microsoft calls them. The geeks in Billville may have exterminated most of the pests before the code shipped, but for now I'm revising my Software Rule No. 1 ("Never buy a version 1.0 of anything from Microsoft") to "Take two service packs and call tech support in the morning."

Pammy says that after my binge, I looked like death on cheese toast. But at least she's looking.

Send your top tips and hangover cures to cringe@infoworld.com. I'll pay $50 for the best.

Join the newsletter!

Or

Sign up to gain exclusive access to email subscriptions, event invitations, competitions, giveaways, and much more.

Membership is free, and your security and privacy remain protected. View our privacy policy before signing up.

Error: Please check your email address.

More about MicrosoftNetgear Australia

Show Comments
[]