Wanting too much

Now that HP has legally knocked Walter Hewlett out of the way and the merger has gone through, everyone is happy -- well, at least the top managers at the new company who stand to profit rather nicely, according to my spies.

Amber cannot seem to make up her mind these days. After she went away recently, one of my old pals called to see if I wanted to sneak away for a bachelor party weekend. "What, you're going to go away for the whole weekend?" Amber demanded. Yes, dear, that was the idea.

Greed is good

Now that HP has legally knocked Walter Hewlett out of the way and the merger has gone through, everyone is happy -- well, at least the top managers at the new company who stand to profit rather nicely, according to my spies. My spies say that at least three of the top managers will receive three times their current salary as a bonus. HP described the financial boosts as "retention bonuses", my spies inform me. So, these guys and gals who already make big bucks get a great big bonus just for sticking around. For the rest of the non-manager-level people at HP, my spies reported there might just be a 10% pay cut -- to say nothing of the minimum 15,000 employees destined for freedom by way of mass layoffs. The US is still in a down economy, isn't it?

Nighty-night, Netscape

In what appears to be a bad sign for Netscape, another spy, who is a Netscape email and calendar customer, reports that Sun has told his organisation that it is dropping the whole line of servers and applications from Netscape and will be bringing out its own line of servers and apps.

Craig Burton, one of the co-founders of Novell, is about to get back in the game as the chief executive of JanusLogix, which is developing XML routing and web services mapping software due out later this year, a spy says. Burton may have his hands full, however, given Oracle's plan to embed XML routing and mapping into its database.

Another spy asks why he's doing what Microsoft already has in Zoomit, or whatever that meta-directory thingy is they bought a few years ago.

Microsoft's little tricks

One of my spies discovered recently that upon typing the letters JRE (as in Java run-time environment) into a Microsoft Outlook email, the very first suggested option the spell checker spits out is "Jerk". Coincidence? I know not.

Speaking of jerks, I knew Amber would be mad when I got back, so I stopped off at our new favourite pub, planning to get home when she'd be asleep. No such luck; she was there at the bar. "I had a feeling you'd show your face here tonight," she smirked at me. "You weren't home, so I figured you'd be here," I tried. This she did not believe. "Well, then, what did my note say?" Who sticks around long enough to read notes, anyway?

Don't stay mad. Send tips to cringe@infoworld.com.

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