Getting what you desire

Isn't there a proverb that goes: "Be careful what you wish for ..." or something like that? I got what I wished for. Right now we're rebuilding the company's information and communications infrastructure from the inside out. I'm not kidding folks ... this isn't a drill.

Isn’t there a proverb that goes: “Be careful what you wish for …” or something like that? I got what I wished for. Right now we’re rebuilding the company’s information and communications infrastructure from the inside out. I’m not kidding folks … this isn’t a drill.

After spending the last two years or so campaigning, The Team (note the caps) and I now have to stand and deliver. This is the kind of stuff that IS managers dream of. It’s the kind of stuff that I, personally, live for.

Unfortunately it also means that I’ve been really, stupidly, screamingly busy. So much so that I didn’t even manage to make it to this year’s Computerworld Expo. I was in good company, though -- neither did a few very major vendors.

Open season

Penguins are so sensitive

Penguins are so sensitive

Penguins are so sensitive

To my needs

-- From Penguins by Lyle Lovett

Apparently, unlike songster Lyle, Bill and his minions don’t like penguins very much. So much so, in fact, that they didn’t front for the big Windows/Linux shootout. Maybe it’s just as well. They might’ve been a mite uncomfortable. According to those who did get to the expo, it’s looking like Linux and open source is really, seriously starting to make it into the big time. Sun is even going so far as to start charging for StarOffice 6.0.

I don’t know what the local pricing is like but in the US it retails at a very reasonable $US75.95 and there are some pretty sweet corporate deals available too. Maybe Sun is on to something. Charging a little – but not too much – for your product adds a lot of credibility. Tightwads and true open source zealots can still download a free copy of OpenOffice 1.0 (which shares the same code base).

Hic …

You’ll all be pleased to know that my $50 wine voucher turned up. I hope that the dear readers who complained that they too had apparently been hoodwinked by the very same researchers have had similarly satisfactory outcomes. The voucher came with (a) a nice letter from the market research company apologising and explaining why it’d taken so long and (b) a nice letter from Compaq Global Services. When does market research become targeted marketing? Hmmm, I can just see the creative team in action now …

Marketing Slime #1: Hey, you guys! What say we have our telemarketers pretend they’re doing a survey? We’ll call all the country’s IT managers and pretend we’re doing, like, market research …

Marketing Slime #2: Woah, yeah man! We could even, like, have them offer them a voucher for, like, wine or something, so they wouldn’t just tell our guys to @#$%& off …

Marketing Slime #1: Yeah, excellent dude! That’d be really convincing. Then we could ask them lots of really pointed questions which are really designed to implant our brand into their subconscious. They won’t know what hit ‘em. They’ll just know they need to buy, buy, buy! This is the best scam since that putting mirrors in elevators thing …

Marketing Slime #2: Huh? …

Marketing Slime #1: Oh shut up and drink your double-decaf soy latte …

Anyway, thanks guys. I did enjoy the wine.

Swanson is IT manager at W Stevenson & Sons. Send letters for publication to Computerworld Letters.

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