It fell off my desk, user says. That's how the screen, keyboard and main laptop unit ended up as three separate pieces. IT pilot fish grumbles, "We weren't able to discern just how many hundreds of feet there had to be between the desk and the floor."
But not that rugged
This "ruggedized" laptop won't boot, so it ends up on service pilot fish's workbench. "When it arrived, we noted some crusty material on it," fish says. Turns out it was stored in a locker in a ship's hold -- and when the ship took on water, the laptop spent the night soaking in brine. Optimistic user asks, "Could you at least recover the data from the hard drive?"
User complains that keys are sticking on his new laptop, so IT pilot fish sends it back to the vendor. That's when user admits the keys didn't start out sticky. "My cat vomited on the keyboard, but I was afraid to tell you," he says. Says fish, "I tried hard to remember if I had put my fingers to my mouth after examining the unit."
Someone broke into my car and shot my laptop, user tells tech support pilot fish. "Didn't steal the $3000 piece of equipment," says skeptical fish. "Rather, they shot it." True, when the laptop arrives at the hardware repair shop, it does have a bullet lodged in the screen. But fish is unconvinced: "We never got the user to admit he had anything to do with the assault."
Air Force pilot fish's office gives the base commander a weekly briefing on world events. It's a young airman's turn, and fish helps him burn the briefing to a CD. Now put it in a laptop and be ready to go in two hours, fish says. Two hours later, airman returns in a panic: The laptop won't boot. "Just like you showed me, I took out the battery module and put the CD module in its place," says airman. Sighs fish, "So, since you took out the battery, do you think it might need a power cord now to work?"
Of course not
His laptop is freezing up when he uses an external mouse, so this user pilot fish sends it off to tech support with a long note detailing the apparent hardware problem. "It came back with a new hard drive, a half-installed operating system and nothing else different, so of course the problem recurred within 24 hours," fish says. "When I called customer service, the guy asked me accusingly, 'Did you install applications on that laptop?' "
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