Here in Cringeville, we’re shocked (shocked!) at allegations that Microsoft may be secretly funding SCO’s efforts to put a leash on Linux. An email from an SCO contractor (and pal of SCO head honcho Darl McBride) claims Microsoft has funnelled $US86 million to SCO to help plunge a stake through the heart of the open source OS. SCO says the memo is based on a "misunderstanding of the facts" and that they and Microsoft are just good friends. I’ve tried that excuse too, which is one reason why I’m single again. Well, that and excessive snooping.Pet sounds
Among the many charming effects of the Netsky, Bagle and Mydoom worms is their ability to emit an odd noise via your PC speakers. According to one source, it sounds remarkably like Darl McBride biting the head off a penguin.Optical elusions
When it comes to LCDs, Apple is apparently a little dim. One of my spies bought a 17in Studio Monitor two years ago; now the bottom half of the screen has gone dark. Apple users also report images that expand and contract at will, lightning bolts flashing across the screen and other digital chimera. Apple wants $US550 to fix the things (most shops charge around $US200). This must be what people mean when they say Steve Jobs is a visionary.Student bodies
A Cringester volunteering at a local state school reports that teenagers are using Google’s image search to further their knowledge of female anatomy. Because Google caches each site’s pix to its own servers, clever students can circumvent some schools’ net filtering software. (Google says schools can adjust their proxy server settings or use the site’s strict filtering option to block the naughty bits.) More proof that our youth are getting the tech education they need to keep America on top.Send roommate candidates or hot tips to email@example.com.