I immediately rushed over to my editor’s office to demand a raise. He was surprised to see me. “Didn’t I fire you last year?” he barked. “I know I have that memo somewhere.” Poor guy. His mind isn’t what it used to be.
The burst is yet to come
My editor’s not the only one with record-keeping problems. According to wire service reports, Microsoft VP James Allchin’s 2000 dictum that employees delete email after 30 days was meant to preserve disk space, not to destroy evidence relating to the patent-infringement case brought by Burst.com. The tiny company is suing the Redmond Rogues for allegedly stealing its streaming technology for use in Windows Media Player 9; now they want MS to explain the Nixonian 35-week gap in email records surrounding the companies’ negotiations. Apparently Microsoft hasn’t figured out how to archive its old emails; I guess they must have run out of floppies.
Kiss my sasser cautious
Cringesters who installed Microsoft’s Sasser-thwarting MS04-011 security patch are reporting nasty side effects — including broken help systems and all the blue screens of death they can eat. Microsoft’s knowledge base lists several other bugs — sorry, “known issues” — with the patch. Microsoft spokesmavens say they’re “working with a small number of customers … to address difficulties in installing the updates,” but the snafus “are not indicative of any systemic or widespread problem.” I’m sure if users deleted their old email messages, everything would work just fine.
Last week more than two dozen Dallas high schoolers were arrested after a street fight that started as an argument in a chat room. Rumour has it the tussle started as a dispute over who’s the best white rapper — Eminem or David Hasselhoff. I’ve always been a big Vanilla Ice fan, myself.
Got hot gossip or bootleg copies of “Ice Ice Baby”? Send ’em to firstname.lastname@example.org