Perhaps I'm not cut out for this online dating thing. After my last experience with Janet Reno's spinster sister, I decided to go for youth and exuberance. So I had a cup of mango raspberry chai with Margo, a 25-year-old web programmer who spoke entirely in HTML. Things were going great until we got into a heated argument over Cascading Style Sheets, and then she climbed on her Segway and glided off. But she left me her IM handle, so maybe there's hope after all.
Mo' money: Users of Microsoft Money 2004 were unceremoniously locked out of their accounts for a few days last month due to a Passport glitch. (For those of you still plagued by this snafu, Microsoft has posted a fix. The company says its authentication servers got a little disoriented after an upgrade, but no one's accounts were breached. Still, trusting Microsoft to handle your money seems a little like hiring Oprah to guard the Oreos. One day you'll wake up to find nothing but crumbs.
Picture this: Cringe reader Randy L was touring the great Northwest when he stopped in Redmond to snap a picture of his family next to the big Microsoft sign near the campus entrance. Before he could even press the shutter, a Micro-minion was in his face to prevent the shot and escort him from the premises. He even flashed his Microsoft Certified Professional card, but the rent-a-cop was unimpressed. Hey, it's nice to know that Microsoft is finally getting serious about security.
Don't picture this: Thanks to all the Cringesters unfortunate enough to have seen me and who said that, as geeks go, I'm not completely hideous (as I had implied last week). But I'm afraid time — and those Botox treatments I got in Tijuana — has taken its toll. Fortunately, I just got a press release for LookWow, a "web-based photo enhancement service for online dating" slated to debut on August 30. I understand LookWow can make an armpit look like Brad Pitt. That's great. But will they also provide a stand-in for the actual date?
Got hot gossip or good IM lingo? Send 'em to firstname.lastname@example.org.