PeopleSoft seeks relief, Microsoft nails thief

Cringe's keyboard sheds some light on Microsoft's takeover plans

I've spent the past week playing with MSN's new beta search engine. Unfortunately, Redmond fixed the bug that displayed as the first hit when searching for the phrase "more evil than Satan". But I noticed the default location setting is Cupertino, California. Do you think Microsoft's planning a play for Apple?

The PeopleSoft have spoken

PeopleSoft's Board aggressively rejected Oracle's takeover offer, accompanied by a series of hand gestures unfit for family viewing. Shareholders had until November 19 to decide whether to join Larry's extended family. Rumour has it if the P-Soft deal falls through, Mr E may buy a pro football team. I'm not sure he'll like that — in the NFL, they penalise you for unnecessary roughness.

Or you can buy both for $12

Microsoft can breathe easier now that the feds have arrested a scofflaw who sold an undercover agent Windows 2000 source code for US$20. According to SecurityFocus, the perp says he offered the code for sale as a joke, because it was available for free on P2P networks. He also claims the same agent paid $15 for the equally titillating Paris Hilton video, leading to the obvious question — which item was more overpriced?

Power of the press

Within minutes of reading here about Microsoft's failure to make good on its promise to boost Hotmail storage, four readers say their free accounts magically blossomed from 2MB to 250MB. Microsoft is mine, I tell you — mine! Within a few weeks, Bill Gates will be detailing my car.

Dear (Valued Customer)

A Cringester says he received a marketing email from Dell that addressed him by a part of his anatomy. Dell can't account for how this could have happened, though it's possible a "friend" signed him up as a prank. I can't repeat what body part was used, but it's not a place you'd want to store your cellphone.

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