Exploring the Dark Side

A week of IT

E-tales explores the Dark Side

These online quizzes are great for a bit of office bonding. The latest — following E-tales' recent stab at the "nice people" quiz — is the Revenge of the Sith quiz, which purports to tell you which character in the movie you most resemble.

E-tales staff produced three Anakin Skywalkers — one teetering dangerously towards the Dark Side, being only 1% away from being Darth Vader. We also, apparently, harbour a secret black-caped, heavy-breathing anti-Crusader in our midst, a rather quiet person actually — but you know what they say about those quiet chaps.

We also, apparently, have one Clone Trooper, and another of our Anakins has a touch of the C3POs about him — must be his English manners, the protocol droid does have a touch of the Jeeves about him. Last, but not least, one staffer resembles Padme, Anakin's doomed bride and mother to the twin heroes. Not sure about this one — the character obviously has dreadful taste in men.

Moon with a view

Forget Google Earth, that's old hat. Google's mapped the moon as well, complete with landing sites. Now to look for evidence of alien life. Go to it: moon.google.com.

Doggone, it's a great Dane!

It can be embarrassing when New Zealand fawns over an overseas visitor. Perhaps a recent example, which, curiously, involved a visitor being represented as a dog, was intended as a humorous toning-down of adulation, but it came across rather strangely.

It involves the strange case of the Great Dane — an image of the lugubrious breed features in the recent Tuanz Telecommunications Day programme. It dwarfs a kiwi and bears the caption: “A great Dane is coming”.

The keynote speaker of the day, Denmark’s telecommunications regulator, Jorgen Abild Andersen, was suitably complimented.

“My cheeks are pink when I see that I am called great,” he told his audience.

We're not sure if hund (Danish for dog) is used as a pejorative term in Denmark, as it is in English. If it is, Andersen was staying doggo about it.

Twice-savvy ACT

The tech-savvy are not always politically savvy and vice versa, but, according to Richard Prebble, ACT leader Rodney Hide is one such. In his leaving speech, Prebble recalled ACT struggling to find a desk and PC for Hide when he first arrived at Parliament. Hide did, at last, manage to secure both, only to find his PC was incredibly slow. He called the support staff, who said they would there directly — and were, complete with brand-new PC — said Prebble, who continues:

"How did you know what was wrong?" inquired Rodney.

"All MPs want a PC on their desk," said the technician. "So we give them the

old discards. If they complain, we give them a PC that works."

"Get many complaints?" asked Rodney.

"Not really," was the reply.

From that conversation, Prebble says, he realised Hide would take to politics like a fish to water.

Some kind of BS

Isn't it rather contradictory of Telecom to call a more economically-priced version of the Unbundled Bitstream Service WBS — or "double-UBS"?


Here at E-tales we were quite glad to see someone buy Computerland, hopefully with a view to changing the name. Not because we wish Computerland's staff any hardship or undue corporate upheaval, but so we can stop having to explain that no, we don't sell computers here at Computerworld(and they don't publish IT news at Computerland).

Someone might like to point this out to a certain Auckland daily newspaper, well known for its careful attention to Computerworld copy. (Alright, it was the Herald.)

See attached

Speaking of the Harold, E-tales has learned that the paper has a new IT policy which includes the most outstanding definition of "disruption" we've ever seen.

"Disruption includes, but is not limited to, network sniffing, pinged floods, packet spoofing, denial of service and forged routing information for malicious purposes," the policy says.

Just what have Herald hacks been up to on the corporate network?

E-tales is edited by Jo Bennett. Email your tales of wit and woe to etales@computerworld.co.nz

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