Schwartz and McNealy are different people with different haircuts

But Schwartz and Billy Ray Cyrus have lots in common, reckons E-taler

Achy breaky Java

Perhaps it’s the stress of his recent elevation that is making new Sun Microsystems’ chief executive, Jonathan Schwartz, so tired and emotional. But it seems he’s positively teary about being continually compared to former CEO and Sun co-founder Scott McNealy.

“Look, we are different people,” Schwartz sighed, at the recent JavaOne conference in San Francisco. “Scott drinks wine, I drink beer,” he sobbed into his ale. “We have different haircuts,” he added plaintively, tossing his ponytail.

True.

And, just to make him happy, E-tales has come up with someone else who looks even more like the pony-tailed one. Separated at birth? You decide. But, if he unfurled his sleek locks, we reckon our man would be a dead ringer for hunky, funky American country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, of Achy Breaky Heart fame.

When your rival knows best

The trouble with being the biggest is that you don’t always know — or choose — best. One of our E-talers recently winkled an amusing little fact out of Telecom. It seems that when the presently beleaguered company’s 100 top executives bundle themselves onto a plane for an overseas foray they do so equipped with rival Vodafone’s mobile data GPRS technology snugly ensconced in their laptops.

Now, why would they do that when Telecom’s mobile technology of choice is CDMA? It’s not about performance; it’s just that not many places on the planet other than our very own Land of the Long White Cloud use CDMA technology. There’s South Korea, bits of the Australian bush, pockets of the United States … and us.

Let’s hope Telecom doesn’t end up Betamaxing itself.

No Einstein at maths

It has long been said that Einstein was no great shakes when it came to all those pesky calculations necessary to support his Theory of Relativity. Well, now he has proved conclusively that there is hope for maths-challenged with Big Ideas.

During his later years, at Princeton University, in New Jersey, it seems the untidy-white-haired one relied heavily on a young American mathematician, Ernst Gabor Straus, to do his sums for him, reports the UK Guardian.

A series of just-come-to-light letters between the two reveal how Straus’s number-crunching skills gave the great physicist a framework for his vision of the universe.

Straus’s wife and son have just put the previously unknown archive up for sale in London. It is expected to fetch £800,000 (NZ$2.4 million).

Apple takes bite out of Big Apple

One of our E-talers found this little gem online. Obviously keen to make the most of the recent London court decision to allow Apple to carry on using its Newtonian logo, despite its similarity to the other Apple (the Beatles record company), our man Jobs has chosen to display his big apple-with-bite-missing 24/7, in the Big Apple

The man in black has just opened a new Apple Store in Midtown, reports Engadget. It’s open all hours — just so we don’t forget who’s the biggest Apple in town.

Tea-time for geek girls

Japanese geek girls are fighting back — not literally of course, but with tea and cake, and crustless cucumber sandwiches.

Otaku (Japanese for geek girls) say they are fed up with their male counterparts having all the fun — with maid cafes, where girl staff dress up in short black dresses and frilly aprons. So, after checking out the latter, one Emiko Sakamaki hit on the idea of an English manor house-themed café, where women would be served by the male maid equivalent — comely young butlers. (The Japanese have a thing about all things English and upper-class.)

Sakamaki says she spotted messages on the internet suggesting an unmet need for a butler café, reports The Tokyo Times.

The boy butlers are apparently a bit nervous — who wouldn’t be around all that delicate china — but the café is a big hit. It’s also a lot prettier than the maid cafes, where the maid’s the thing, not the quality of the china.

Apple on the run

It seems the first of April comes around faster every year. Already it’s April Fools’ Day 2007 and Apple has announced it is teaming up with Nike, so as to allow your running shoes to talk to your Nano.

I’ve often wondered why my shoes didn’t talk to my iPod. Were they estranged at an early age over what Our Earbud said to Her Laces concerning the size of her tongue? Thankfully, Apple/Nike has solved the problem. Simply insert the transmitter-thing into the sole of your left shoe, attach the receiver-thing to the iPod Nano and, bingo, your Nano is now a pedometer with a Power Song button that allows you to get that little bit of something extra pumped into your ears whenever you start to flag.

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