On the morning of December 1, the executive teams of two brand newish companies – Chorusline and Telecommons – met in separate locations.
Two brown envelopes, each containing an incomplete transcript of both meetings, were discovered on the steps of the Fry Up offices this morning.
We cannot verify their authenticity without government approval, apparently, but we've decided to publish anyway.
CEO: Morning troops and what a relief that’s all over. I didn’t think we’d ever get out of there.
Executive team: Agreed. Yesterday’s ceremony was typical Telecommons OTT.
CEO: And what was with that parting gift – a conch shell and pounamu – clearly leftovers from the Rugby World Cup sponsorship deal.
Executive team: Yeah but ours was pretty lame too - hi-viz jackets and a tree branch.
CEO: Brilliant! Well good luck to them, they’re gonna need it.
Actually when I said before I was glad to have left the building, I meant it metaphorically. That retail division has been dragging down Chorusline for years. I’ll miss the Southern Cross though, attending board meetings in Bermuda.
Executive team: Bermuda, bahama, come on pretty mama...
CEO: Alrighty, let’s get something straight at the outset. Just because the company’s is called Chorusline it does not mean that a) you get to sing and b) you all have to answer me in unison.
OK, down to business, where is Enable rolling out fibre in Christchurch so we can start a price war and force them into partnership....
CEO: Welcome and glad to see you and all that... hmmm we appear to have a couple of people missing.
Executive in charge of strategy: No sir, they were part of Chorusline, they’ve left to form their own company.
CEO: Of course, excuse me... a few single malts last night, was trying to forget the nightmare.
Executive in charge of lawyers: Are you referring to operational separation and the oppressive, unfair, unprecedented and mean-spirited regulatory regime that this company was forced to labour under for five long years?
CEO: No, I meant that horrible song they played at the parting of the ways ceremony yesterday. I can’t get it out of my head
Executive in charge of marketing: Ten guitars? That’s a classic, we’re thinking about it as the soundtrack for the next ad campaign – actually I’m not entirely sure we haven’t already used it before.
Siri – has Telecommons used Ten Guitars in an advertisement....
CEO: Check out the new iPhone on you. I’ve got one too, it’s white. Bought it at a First Mobile shop.
Executive in charge of marketing: Sir, that’s a Vodafone store, you don’t need to go to the opposition now. We stock them.
CEO: Really, fantastic news. Well done team. The company’s only a few hours old and already we’ve made a major breakthrough.
Now check out this vid , Mike Tyson singing Girl From Ipanema – now there’s a song. Why don’t we use that for the next ad campaign?Chorus has left the building
Microsoft claims its Office 365 is a going gangbusters, but others beg to differ – including IDC in US. Locally the online article has drawn a bit of discussion, one comment calls it a “game changer” another labels it “lipsick on a pig”.
The great Office divide continues to widen.