My so-called life

SAN FRANCISCO (10/31/2003) - Cringely fans tired of watching "The Joe Schmo Show" have been clamoring for news about my personal reality program. So here's the scoop. After months of cajoling, wheedling, and outright begging, Pammy's agreed to move back in and give it a go. It wasn't easy. For a while she considered joining a convent (Our Lady of the Perpetual Subroutine) but she couldn't bear the thought of wearing only black. Besides, charity begins at home, and I need saving as much as anyone.

There's Something About Larry

Upcoming romance novel Man Trouble from Larry Ellison fiancee Melanie Craft features an egomaniac billionaire playboy named Jake Berenger whose business has lost its luster. (Hmm, sound like anybody we know?) Naturally, Jake is saved by the love of babe-alicious author Molly Shaw. Craft says she and Mr. E. are not the models for the characters, but I'm not convinced. I understand things get really steamy in Chapter 14, when Jake bursts into Molly's boardroom and performs a hostile takeover.

Not So Secret

Victoria's Secret was recently ordered to pay a US$50,000 fine for security flaws on its Web site that allowed customers to see what kind of dainty little underthings other people were buying. We're still checking the rumor that an unusual number of bodices were sold to a "Mr. Craft" in Atherton, Calif. Well, you know those things rip so easily ....

Out of Tune

When Steve Jobs introduced iTunes for Windows last month, he quipped, "Hell froze over." Well so did some copies of Windows 2000 that failed to boot after iTunes was installed. Apple issued a fix a week later, but not before unlucky Win2K users re-installed their operating systems. Still, a small price to pay so you can download "Na Na Hey Hey" on a Dell.

Gonna Party Like It's 1969

One of the Cringe crew got a renewal notice from Network Solutions Inc. warning that her domains were going to expire ... on Dec. 31, 1969. The notice should have also said, "Don't take the blue acid, man, it's really a bummer."

Mind you, we're taking it slow. Separate rooms, bathrooms, and e-mail accounts. But we're sharing a broadband connection, and that's a start.

Got hot tips or ideas for myromance novel? Send 'em to cringe@infoworld.comand win $50, if you're lucky.

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