SAN FRANCISCO (10/10/2003) - It's a sad day in Cringeville. The Computer History Museum has announced new inductees to its hallowed Hall of Fellows, and once again I didn't make the cut. Instead they picked some pikers named Gordon Bell, Tim Berners-Lee, and David Wheeler. Sure, these guys helped invent minicomputers, the Web, and modern programming -- but what have they done lately? I haven't felt this low since Peoplemagazine left me off their list of the 50 Most Beautiful People.
Rotten to the CoreWhen Apple announced its dual-CPU Power Mac G5 last June, hardcore Macheads went into frenzies of ecstasy and began preordering the thing in droves. Then "the world's fastest personal computer" failed to ship as promised in August, and the buzz began to fade. Some users have been waiting four months with nothing to show for it. Meanwhile, the units are turning up on campuses and retail shelves. Maybe this will inspire a new ad campaign: Stink Different.
Is Comdex Dead?No, it always smells that way. One Cringester who couldn't reach the Comdex sitelast week asks if the show is finally over. No such luck. However, for the first time in its 24-year history you'll have to pay to wander its miles of aisles: $50 in advance, $100 at the door, and $2,500 if you want to walk around juggling squeeze balls emblazoned with your company logo.
Pardon Me, MissMy mailbag is bulging with complaints about English-challenged support techies. The best one: A reader spent an hour talking to an off-shore Dell tech who kept calling him "madam," despite numerous attempts to convince the tech that he was in fact a 56-year-old man. After madam explained his problem (his PC failed to boot due to mismatched RAM chips), the tech offered to send him a new optical mouse. He must have heard the saying, "Are you a man or do you need a mouse?"
After the bad news I took solace at Pammy's. She assured me I was certainly one of the 50 most beautiful geeks. I think she meant it as a compliment.
Sent your hot tips or alternative Apple slogans to email@example.com. I'll pay $50 for the best.